The Emotional Side of Exiting Your Business

Do you ever look at your employees with a tiny tinge of jealousy (or at least wonder)? They are able to come to work, do their job, receive a paycheck, and enjoy their weekends. When they leave work, they actually leave work. You signed up for something wildly different, and you’ve received both the benefits–and costs–of your decision.

It’s such an intense experience to be a business owner, and it’s something most people can’t begin to identify with. So if you’re like most self-made owners we’ve met over the years, you maintain a sort of professional decorum or facade in front of your team, friends, and even your family. The business of running a business can be extremely mentally and emotionally taxing, because you hold so much together. 

Mood & emotions: on the inside you feel the ups & downs.

So, the persona you show to the world is not necessarily congruent with the intensity of what you’re experiencing. This is part of your leadership, of course–a certain level of regulation of mood and emotions is necessary and good for normal functioning in society. But as business owners, we can become almost too expert at never letting anyone see our true ups and downs. We often take care not to get too externally excited by the good times, or too down about the bad times.

It’s likely that you’re revered for the steady hand you’ve used to guide your company. Little do many of your closest employees know that the real story is that you nearly lost it all three times in the past two decades.

You’ve actually been through it all. A key employee quitting. Your top customer taking their business elsewhere. A vendor failing to perform. A bank pulling your line-of-credit. An unexpected lawsuit. All the headaches. All the heartache. In so many ways, you’re ready to leave it all behind and say good riddance.

But on the other hand, you’re hesitant to say “goodbye”.

Your business is the sum total of your life’s work. You're proud of the family you’ve raised, but if you’re honest with yourself, people know you as the owner of your business first.

Recommended Read: Preparing Your Business For Exit is Just Good Business Strategy

Walking away from being an owner, being a boss, being needed … This is a titanic shift in your life.

It’s true, you won’t have to worry about payroll again. Yes, you’ll be done with mediating petty squabbles amongst your employees. No, you won’t have to ever have a customer threaten you again. And no, you won’t have to withstand a sudden price increase from your key supplier.

But on the other hand, you won’t get to do these things anymore.

Making payroll is a big motivator to get you out of bed in the morning. You have mouths to feed. People relying on you. You love finding ways to orchestrate your team to get along and work together. You thrive on finding solutions to win with your customers.

You solve problems for a living and saying “goodbye” might be the one that stumps you.

Having watched many, many business owners go through this transition, one thing is nearly certain: it will not be a walk in the park.

That’s why it’s important to start talking about it. Pick some people where the stakes are low, like loved ones or friends who are not involved in the business. It’s easy to talk to them about it because they don’t have any skin in the game. From there, start talking to your business advisers, people that know you in your business life. And of course, this is where we at Doescher Group can be your biggest guide and ally.

A great exercise that we often take clients through is called a Personal Envisioning workshop. This is where we help you brainstorm what you’d like your future to look like, and how you’d like your separation from your business to go? What time frame? Gradual or quick? Discreet or with fanfare? What passions, hobbies, or adventures would you like to pursue to fill the time your business has occupied all these years?

We all want to avoid subjects that give us anxiety. But ignoring these issues doesn’t make them go away. Dealing with these issues directly and proactively can actually give you a lot of relief.

“Rivers are easiest to cross at their source.”

-Publilius Syrus

For example, suppose you are fearful about what you’ll do after you sell your business. Rather than avoid thinking about it, instead ask yourself the question, “Why are you fearful?”

Let’s assume your answer is you fear being bored. So then ask yourself, “Why do you think you’ll be bored?” Perhaps your answer is because you watch people in retirement and it looks boring.

When asked “Why do you think your retirement will be the same as the people you watch?” you might say “I guess I haven’t given it much thought.”

If you consider the question “What do you think you’d do differently in retirement?” you may say something like “I think I’d pursue my hobbies, spend time with my family, travel, and also advise small business owners.” 

“Does that sound boring?” No. Wow, now I feel better.

Just visualizing things can have great power. By breaking down this big topic into its smaller, more bite-sized components, you can make progress toward finding your path to “goodbye”.

When you face your worries and fears head-on, you might be surprised that some of them evaporate away. Of course, one of the biggest fears people have about their exit is that they don’t know how it will go: it’s a mysterious, opaque process, and therefore it’s scary. That’s where a good exit strategist can help. We’ll help illuminate that path ahead of you, so you can exit or evolve with confidence and ease.