Advisor or Coach? What Does Doescher Group Bring to the Relationship?

My wife, Barbara, and I were often asked whether we were “coaches” during our years with Doescher Advisors.

For some reason, that label always bothered me, although I could not immediately explain why. Many of you know that my original career goal was to become a high school football coach. When I failed to make the Western Michigan University football team, that plan changed.

So, you would think I would have been comfortable calling myself a coach.

Eventually, I realized what was troubling me. I did not see myself as standing on the sidelines, calling the plays for someone else. I saw myself working alongside business owners and executives as a partner, peer, advisor, and trusted sounding board.

That remains an important part of the executive coaching work we now provide through Doescher Group.

A Lesson from The Intern

Barbara and I once watched The Intern, starring Robert De Niro as Ben Whittaker, an experienced retired executive who becomes a trusted presence for a younger company founder. I am not a movie critic, but the story stayed with me for days.

Then it hit me: Ben represented the kind of advisor I wanted to be.

I am not suggesting I am Robert De Niro, although he did look very good in the role. I am referring to Ben’s character and the way he served Jules and her team.

Ben did not enter the company acting as though he had all the answers. He did not try to take over. He observed, listened, learned, encouraged, and helped.

Here are several lessons from the movie that still reflect how I believe an effective executive advisor should serve a business leader.

The most effective advisors work alongside business leaders, helping them think clearly and make decisions with confidence.

Successful Leaders Do Not Need to Be Rescued

Jules was already thriving before Ben arrived. She had built an impressive company and was leading a talented team.

The same is true of the leaders we serve. They are capable, hardworking people who have built successful companies. They are not looking for someone to run the business for them.

What they often need is a trusted person who can help them step back, think clearly, identify blind spots, and work through decisions they may not be able to discuss openly with anyone else.

As the saying goes, it can be lonely at the top.

Experience Should Produce Humility

Ben was comfortable in his own skin. He wore a suit and tie, carried a classic briefcase, and did not attempt to act like one of the younger employees.

At the same time, he was willing to learn.

Experience should not cause an advisor to become a know-it-all. The longer I have worked with business owners, the more I have recognized that they understand their businesses far better than I ever will.

My role is to ask questions, listen carefully, share observations, and look for places where my experience may be useful.

Sometimes that means introducing a new idea. Other times it means helping a leader recognize an answer they already know.

Advice Must Be Based on the Leader’s Goals

Ben wanted what was best for Jules, based on her definition of what was best.

That distinction is critical.

An advisor should not impose his or her personal ambitions, values, or preferred version of success on a client. Some owners want rapid growth. Others want greater profitability, fewer hours, a stronger leadership team, or a business that can eventually operate without them.

Some are preparing to sell. Others want to continue building the company for the next generation.

Good executive coaching begins by understanding what the owner truly wants, both professionally and personally.

Only then can the advisor offer meaningful guidance.

Listen Before You Advise

Early in the movie, Ben was slow to express his opinions. He paid attention to Jules, her team, and the company’s culture before offering advice.

That is a discipline I continue to value.

During the early stages of a relationship, I try to understand the leader’s most important business and personal goals. I also want to know the history behind the company, the personalities involved, the decisions that have already been made, and the pressures the leader is facing.

Situations often look much simpler to an outsider who is unaware of the compromises, relationships, and circumstances that led to a particular decision.

Before offering an opinion, an advisor should earn the right to be heard.

Do Whatever Needs to Be Done

Ben was humble. Nothing seemed beneath him. He cleaned up a messy office area, delivered interoffice mail, and helped people throughout the company.

He was not concerned about receiving credit.

That is another important lesson. An advisor’s goal should be to help the client succeed, not to build a personal spotlight.

Sometimes the most valuable contribution is strategic. Sometimes it is asking a difficult question. Sometimes it is helping prepare for a challenging conversation. At other times, it may simply be listening while an owner thinks out loud.

The work is not about who receives the credit. It is about what helps the leader and the business move forward.

Tell the Truth Carefully

Ben was encouraging, positive, and supportive, but he was also willing to tell Jules the truth.

An executive advisor who only agrees with the client is not very valuable.

Business leaders need people who will challenge them when necessary, identify uncomfortable issues, and point out potential risks. They also need those observations delivered with wisdom, humility, and good timing.

I have often described this as speaking the truth in love. That does not mean avoiding hard conversations. It means selecting the right words and delivering them at the right time, with the other person’s best interests in mind.

The most useful feedback is usually clear, practical, and actionable. Occasionally, it may also be unpleasant to hear.

Pay Attention to the Whole Person

Ben did not focus only on Jules’ business decisions. He also noticed that she needed more sleep, greater balance, and someone she could trust.

Business leadership affects the whole person.

Financial concerns, family relationships, physical health, emotional strain, succession questions, and personal goals often become intertwined with company decisions. Although an executive advisor is not a counselor, it is difficult to advise a leader well without understanding the broader pressures influencing that person.

The business may be the subject of the conversation, but there is always a person behind the business.

Be Someone the Leader Can Call

Near the end of the film, Jules recognizes the value of having a trusted person nearby when an important decision becomes difficult. That scene captures the value of a trusted advisor.

Successful business owners do not necessarily need someone to tell them what to do. They often need someone who understands leadership, respects what they have built, asks thoughtful questions, tells them the truth, and remains steady when the decisions become complicated.

During my years with Doescher Advisors, that was the kind of relationship Barbara and I tried to build with our clients. Today, I have the opportunity to continue that work through Doescher Group.

Whether you call it coaching, advising, mentoring, or being a trusted peer is less important than the result.

The real question is this: Do you have someone you can call when you need to think through the decisions that matter most?

If not, executive coaching through Doescher Group may be the right place to begin.

Do you have someone you can call when an important business decision becomes difficult? Learn how executive coaching through Doescher Group can provide a trusted, experienced sounding board.